Granted. Everybody else in the world is dead. I die of loneliness. (You said 'you', not 'I')

I wish I were bigger. You know what I mean.

Granted, but you come so big you explode.\

I wish that building did not take such a long time in ZE

Granted: Buildings take 1 millisecond less to build at a cost of triple the resources.

I wish that I could play any musical instrument.

Granted, you can play any instrument, but not play good, you sound horrible.

I wish the virus would get out of my computer.

Granted. The virus is erased from your computer. Unfortunately, so is everything else.

I wish I were a valcano.

Granted. Since there's no such thing as a 'valcano', you cease to exist

I wish I could think of a wish that couldn't be corrupted.

Granted. Now your mind's corrupted. All the people you know stop liking you because you're completely different from before, and your new self is too lazy to go out and find new people who actually like you. In the end, you die of loneliness. (And that's why we never make that wish)

i wish I could think of a wish that couldn't be corrupted.

Granted, but you get alzhemier's disease and forget your wish and your other wish is corrupted and you fall into depression and die of cancer.

I wish that Chuck Norris was my neighbor.

Granted: You are now his sparing partner since everyone else on the block moved

I wish that the weather would just pick one type(not scorching hot) and stay there for JUST a month.

Granted, but after the month is over, it messed up the weather patterns, and caused the world to end with catastraphic disasters.

I wish that I was a coach of a NFL team