You step on a vortex landmine that lands you in my auction house. Your soul is now made into peanut butter and is being prepared to be auctioned.

Foolish mortal, I have no soul!

KOTH

On account of you having no soul, you crumple to the ground. Plus, your still in my inescapable auction house.

I think you're getting 'soul' confused with 'bones'. And I'm not in your auction house, because you don't have an auction house. And even if you did, I'm still KOTH.

Oh, never mind.

Is that Monty Python?

I'm Monty Python. And therefore,

KOTH

IN the words of Monty Python, "SPAM!"

Before any of yee can become king of this hill ye must answer these questions 3
1.What is your name?
2.what is your quest[how do you plan on removing me from the hill because you aren't already there'
3.What is the capital of ustinkistan?