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Cow's Guide for not getting Defleeted.

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:06 pm
by big-fat-cow
So, i think it's finally time for me to write a guide - How to keep your pathetic fleet intact long enough to become an eagle that will soar high above the sky

The answer is simple: Treat it like your baby.

Q: But I over slept...
A: Keep repeating to yourself "My baby is crying" and all the while imagining that you have a baby crying at night. Soon you'd find yourself waking up looking for your baby. That's right, YOU DON'T SLEEP when your baby is crying! Log on and cuddle it!

Q: I had to go to work/school
A: Oh my goodness, you sickens me. Would you abandon your baby at home by itself? Get your brother, sister, mother, wife...really anyone, to babysit your fleet if you have to be gone

Q: My wife dragged me away from computer
A: Stand up, sissy boy, look her in the eye, and you tell her:"Listen woman, I have this baby that you don't know about needs my attention. Now go to the kitchen and cook me some noodles."

Q: They caught me on lanx!
A: Slap yourself in the face, say a prayer for your fleet and take a moment to remember it, then go on to make a new baby (and a couple moons maybe). This guide does not cover situations where absolute foolishness is involved.

Q: I got ninja-ed!!
A: Your baby is not a toy that you throw around, you wouldn't send your child to Afghanistan right now would you? Give it a gun, and a couple years.


To summarize, act as a responsible parent, then you will never be de-fleeted.

Q: But I don't know what it's like to be a parent.
A: My next guide: How to play ZE like treating your girlfriend.

Re: Cow's Guide for not getting Defleeted.

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 12:16 am
by NEO
True what you claim, but life doesn't always work like that.

Re: Cow's Guide for not getting Defleeted.

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:50 am
by Choke
nice

Re: Cow's Guide for not getting Defleeted.

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:44 pm
by Desert_Reaper
Am I the only one who finds the wording of this guide a bit offensive? Demeaning to both guys and girls...

Re: Cow's Guide for not getting Defleeted.

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 5:43 pm
by Doomrager
Desert_Reaper wrote:Am I the only one who finds the wording of this guide a bit offensive? Demeaning to both guys and girls...
That's probably the point...