chuck norris was bourn in a cabin that he built with his own hands

Nasa test their new Space Shuttle heat shields on Chuck Norris' right foot. The only thing known to man that can travel at
Mach 7.2.

-Istalris-

lol i havent heard that one

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Chuck Norris' computer doesn't have a ctrl button. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

Outer space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he is pushing the world down.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy. It is a Chucktatorship.

The first one is my favorite.

When Chuck Norris jumps into water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't know there are jokes about him, if he did, they wouldn't exist.

-Istalris-

This is true try it but I think all of you know it already

1: first type "find chuck norris" into google search

2: the answer you get is Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you

Suggestions:
* Run, before he finds you
* Try a different person


These are some of his jokes that I like:

Chuck Norris never shaves. He forbid his beard to grow more than he wants it.

Chuck norris once killed one of the popes with a roundhouse kick to the chest during an argument over who had a better beard: Chuck or Jesus.

Jesus can walk on water. Chuck can swim on land.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

In the original script of "Lord Of The Rings", Chuck Norris was suppose to act Frodo Baggins. The script was only 5 pages since Chuck, after 4 pages hits Sauron with a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac in Burger King - and got one.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

Chuck Norris can divide an atom with his bare hands.

Chuck Norris knows the Victoria's secret.

Chuck Norris knows who is older, the chicken or the egg.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.


God wanted to creat the world in 10 days, Chuck Norris gave him seven.

Chuck norris east black holes for breakfast .They taste like chicken