It does, but I stole it.

I wish that Queen Elizabeth would just die already and pass off the thrown.

granted she died 24 March 1603, fortunately Queen Elizabeth the second as old as she is, is still alive and well.

I wish I could stand to be around my mother-in-law

Granted. You fall madly in love with her resulting her in wildy inappropriate behaviour, social humiliation and marital catastrophe.

I wish love2scoobysnack would start playing again in Speed.

granted, but instead of being allies I return with one goal... to destroy you for putting such terrible images into my head

I wish someone would kill me it will be the only way to rid myself of the mental images placed there by SpacemanSpiff.

Granted. But your life flashes before your eyes and freezes on the images in your head

I wish that my Pens had not gotten taken out in the first round

Granted. In the second round all the star players suffer career ending injuries.

I wish the Leafs had made it to the first round...

granted but on the trip to their first game the plane crashes and they all die.

I wish my poops smelled better

Granted. You start eating poop out of public washrooms and catch something nasty and die. Your epitaph says Eat Poop and Die

I wish I had a scooby snack right now.

you do but its moldy and is 2 years old

i wish i had eminems new recovery album unscratched runs perfectly and waterproof

Granted, it suddenly starts on fire.

I wish that I didn't waste so much time and energy in standard.