Granted, but you insult everyone you meet.

I wish that I knew what to wish for.

Granted. Unforunately since you used the past tense of know, you forget what you wanted to wish for and hate yourself.

I wish for a new car.

Granted. But it was made by your cousin in his garage, has no ac, shocks or even a radio and the first time you drive it the police pull you over and confiscate it as being too hazardous to be on the road.

I wish I could eat all the ice cream I wanted without getting fat (I love ice cream mmm....)

Granted. But sadly you get dangerously high blood sugar and die.

I wish I could fly.

granted you get on a 10 hour flight to los angeles

i wish i could rap better

Granted. But it is only slightly better, for example, if you could rap horribly, you still rap horribly, just no as bad as before your wish since you did not clarify how much improvement you wished for.

I wish I couldn't wish.

granted you can no longer make wishes because now you have no imagination or rather continue to have no imagination because lets be honest the idea of making wishes uncorruptable or some other variation has been used by more people than your mama.

I wish all the people who have wished for an uncorruptable wish or some other variation would get some kind of disease rendering them incapable of typing resulting in no more uncorruptable wishes.

Granted, but instead of targeting people who wanted uncorruptible wishes, it targets you since you created it and it dies with you.

I wish that the fan in this stupid laptop of mine would work better!

granted but now it is so powerful that you can no longer use it in your lap because it will suck your close right off you. (picture the scene from Tommy Boy when the guy gets his shirt ripped off by the vacuum tube system)

I wish my computer monitor worked like a scratch and sniff where you could smell what was displayed on the screen

Granted, but after repeatedly scratching the screen, it becomes unusable and you have to throw your computer away. Plus, before that happened, you were sent to a site for a rotten cabbage auction.

I wish I had more time to play Zorg, time that didn't consume any of my life, sleep, social events, ect. And time cannot be frozen, people don't attack me more often, my resources produce at the same rate (as do everyone elses) and fleet speed is the same. Buildings also take the normal amount of time to build.