I turn YOU into my crony that listens to my orders completely. KOTH.

The crony I replaced you with surprises you at the home you live in, and traps you in an empty box, then frees me- KOTH.

As we all know from the Uncertainty Principle in Quantum Mechanics, nothing can be truly empty, therefore "empty boxes" literally do not exist, so I therefore cannot be trapped in one. I trap you in a real box (i.e. with some stuff in it, like oxygen molecules and such) and throw it into a junk yard compactor. I trap your crony in another real box and throw it into an incinerator. KOTH.

The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle suddenly allies with my side even though it does not have a mind, and my particles are tunneled through to the outside, replacing your particles which are tunneled back into the inside of your own trap- KOTH.

Meh, we all know how fickle quantum mechanics is. It switches our positions again and I annihilate you with an antimatter ray. KOTH.

All of the protons in ur body decompose into neutrons and then u fly apart in (insert big number here) pieces KOTH

Quantum mechanics once again revives me to life, and I cross the proton streams while going through a Jump Gate to a different universe, and the Gate is destroyed in the resulting apocalypse. I then become -KOTH.

No...you just left the universe and thereby removed yourself from contention for KOTH. I pull myself together, kick Richards *** and I am KOTH.

I renew my place in the competition by replacing the universe you and Richard are in with another universe, and transport myself inside, claiming KOTH.
(But really, when the proton streams cross, the universe is destroyed.)

Sigh. In that case you are a total nincompoop aren't you? In destroying the universe you destroyed the hill and so you can't be KOTH because there is no hill to be king OF. Since I am dead I must be in Hell, so I kick Satan's *** and take over, storm Heaven, hit the universe reset button and remake the hill. Since I made the hill, it is mine, and I have Hell's army to assert my claim, so I am KOTH.